Mr. Kikunaga for the Weekend

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Mr. Kikunaga for the Weekend

Why all parents deserve to live it up in Vegas

I am all about saving money. Even when I am doing something as indulgent as going to Vegas.

Here’s a little secret. You want to have a good time in Vegas? Do you want to have a blast? Hang out with your disabled friend!

I don’t mean to make light of the situation; it’s quite depressing what happened to him. However, when life gives someone else lemons, why not drink the lemonade with them.

He tore his Achilles tendon. Tragic! I even saw the video. Out of nowhere, it looked like he was kicked by a Smurf; he just went down.

Even though the Achilles tragedy happened, we already had our Vegas trip planned, and we weren’t canceling. Besides, I had already flown my parents in to watch the kids. The Kikunaga’s, of course, needed cheering up and what place better than Vegas.

Kikunaga Style

Yes, Vegas is a magical place that my clients should never go to. Well, at least not that often. However, the best time to go is when one of your friends is disabled. You see, Mr. Kikunaga is someone in Vegas. Actually, he is someone everywhere; it’s just that he’s VIP in Vegas.

You don’t really need to be VIP when you’re incapacitated. You already get treated like VIP and you get all the good parking spots. He was driving around on a scooter everywhere, so he didn’t have to walk. Plus, as a friend, I felt bad for him, so at times, I would serve him.

“Yes sir, let me get that for you. After all, you’ve gone through enough.”

So, since he was already getting “the treatment,” he transferred his VIP status to me.

Now some of you are not getting why this is important. It takes a lot of gambling to get to VIP status, and although I like to take risks, I try to control these risks as much as possible. Unfortunately, in Vegas, you are unable to control all the variables, so I usually just play, but not enough to be VIP, so he gave me his Mr. Kikunaga VIP card!

Optometrist by Day, Ninja by Night

I’m not going to lie, I always wanted to be Mr. Kikunaga. Why wouldn’t anyone want to be Mr. Kikunaga—Optometrist by day, ninja by night.

Oh yes! Intelligent, and he can kill you! The joy that would come to me if I could walk down the street every day passing people with a devilish smile on my face singing the following:

I can kill you.

I can also kill you.

Ooh, ooh, I can kill you too. 

Oh, the power!

He handed me the VIP Card. He said to me in a stern voice.

Mr. Kikunaga: Can you be trusted, Mr. Croom?

Mr. Croom: I can sensei.

By the Kikunaga power vested in me…

I cannot be trusted with such power in Vegas. Maybe Colorado, but not Vegas. Initially, he gave me the card so that I could valet my car for free—which saves money by the way, but that also means that I have possession of the VIP Card, which means that I could use this card anywhere that they don’t check ID’s. So hey, why not go all-in?

My thoughts,

I am going to be Mr. Kikunaga all weekend long, baby. He doesn’t need the last name; hell, he’s handicapped. 

And there’s nothing more fun, than being a black guy with an Asian last name hanging around Asian people in Vegas. I am finally with my people!

Y’all know that black people love Asian culture. Think about it—Wu-Tang Clan, Blade, and The Last Dragon! When I say who’s the master, you say Kikunaga! 

Hell, not only am I a killer, but I am a member of the Wu-Tang Clan! In my head, I am hanging out with Raekwon, RZA, and I, of course, am Kikunaga.

I get to be Asian and Black; I gain positive stereotypes. It’s almost like God blessed me for the weekend.

Pulling it off…

Now to pull this off, you have to learn how to speak with conviction. You have to look people in the eyes. It is something I teach my daughters every day. I’m raising girls, and I want them to exude confidence. So, they are learning to look people in the eyes when they speak and to speak with conviction. I teach them that if you can’t speak with conviction on a subject matter, you have to either educate yourself more on the subject matter or find someone else who can help you speak on the topic. They know that they have to have confidence in themselves if they want to accomplish or obtain the things they desire.

Living My Dream

I had the conviction to live my dream of being Mr. Kikunaga for the weekend.

There is nothing like making a reservation at an Asian restaurant and waiting for them to call your name.

Host: Mr. Kikunaga?

Me: Here I am!

There is nothing like hanging with my people while they look at me and talk to each other. They don’t want to question my Kikunaganess.

However, when you go for your free VIP Buffet at the Casino. The Casino is a little tight with their money.

Host: Mr. Kikunaga?

Me: Here I am

Host: Looks at the card, then looks at me.

Me: Looking into his eyes, teleporting my thoughts to the host, having a full conversation with him…

What?! I can’t be Mr. Kikunaga. What are you trying to say? I’m not Asian enough? Boy, you better get Mr. Kikunaga his seat before I death strike you. What are you racist!

Host: (smiling) Right this way, Mr. Kikunaga.

Me: That’s Right!

Saving Money

He sat me down at the buffet, and I started chowing down on my free food! I told y’all I like to save money. #winning

However, when the manager came over and started speaking Japanese to me, I did what every sensible person would do—I used one of my own positive stereotypes and ran really fast!

So, what is the point of this story? I thought it was freaking hilarious!

Also, just because I am a man in my 40’s, married with three kids doesn’t mean I don’t get to be silly from time to time. We work hard raising our kids while we teach them about being proud of who they are and about honesty and truth. We teach them that these virtues reflect in everything that we do.

Let that sink in.

And that is why you have to sneak away to Vegas where God can’t see. So, you can be whoever you want to be and lie the whole weekend about who you are — parenting 101.

You don’t have to spend a lot of money to have a blast. You just have to be able to make yourself laugh and enjoy the company you keep.

If you haven’t already, buy The Financial Effect e-book to get more insight on how to make financial decisions for your family, also subscribe to my blog.

Photo by James Walsh on Unsplash

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