Stop Peacocking Your Kids!

This website contains affiliate links and sponsored posts. A small commission is earned when you click and purchase via my affiliate links.

Stop Peacocking Your Kids

Your Children Must Decide His or Her Own Success

I know it’s hard, but our kids’ status, nor the money they make should not be the end-all for us. We need to be careful that we don’t force our kids into situations, jobs, careers that make them unhappy. I know what you’re thinking. The more money our kids have, the happier they will be, but you know that’s not necessarily true, right?

I get it though! If you’re going to be depressed, it’s better to be depressed laying in a bed with 120 thread-count sheets. I feel bad, but my skin feels soooooo good.

Father President

I also have to admit that if one of my children becomes president, it is going to be excruciatingly hard not to peacock. If you think I’m obnoxious now, and you probably do, just get a load of me when my daughter is being sworn in on Inauguration Day. The grin will be seen from thousands of miles away. As a matter of fact, my daughter’s new title would be Madam President—mine would be Father President.

Yes, the only person who will be able to call me by Armond is my momma. The rest of you—Father President.

You: Armond
Me: Who?
You: Armond
Me: Who?
You: Father President
Me: That’s Right! Don’t make me tell you again Josh! I don’t think your taxes are in order. One phone call, and it’s an audit for you son!

I would do crazy things like speed on purpose just so I could get pulled over.

Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: Do you know who I am, boy?
Cop: No
Me: Boy, you might want to check on that first? Don’t you have kids to feed? You might want to keep your job, son?
Cop: Father President, you may go.
Me: That’s Right!

I personally can’t wait to be invited to a dinner party just so that everyone could refer to me by my new name—Father President. Of course, I know one of my “friends” would get an attitude with me and try to say something smart:

“Friend”: Armond
Me: Who?
“Friend”: Isn’t one of your kids a drug dealer or something?
Me: Nobody is talking about that Beth! She is an entrepreneur! Ain’t your kid trying to be a judge? One phone call Beth; she’s going to be judging beauty pageants when I’m done!
“Friend”: I’m sorry, Father President.
Me: That’s right!

How I Met Brittany Murphy

I have to admit, even that thought exercise was fun.

Let’s stop and think for a minute, though—isn’t it funny how we assume that if our kid becomes president of the United States, they will be happy. This is not necessarily true. I don’t want my daughter to be president if she isn’t also going to be:

• Compassionate
• Confident
• Loving
• Happy
• Well-Balanced Emotionally

The reality of her being president more than likely would keep me up at night, worried about the weight of the world on her shoulders.

I would be worried about her ability to handle it.

For instance, I had the great pleasure of meeting Brittney Murphy during my time in the Navy. We were in Iraq, Brittney, and a host of other celebrities visited the ship on June 19, 2003. It was a great day. Why was it such a great day? Brittney took a liking to me, and against my commanding officer’s wishes, she wanted me to stick with her the entire time.

YES! I had to remove Janet Jackson off the list and put Brittany Murphey in her place. Sorry Janet, but what have you done for me lately?

Even Alyssa Milano was there, but she wasn’t as friendly. Brittany was all over me. She jumped into my arms, gave me big ole hugs, held my hand, and let me escort her all over the ship. I was in hog heaven. Everyone was having a good time. I was having a good time; Britney was having a good time. My shipmates were having a blast. You know who wasn’t having a good time? —her mother. It was a bit awkward getting close to Brittany right in front of her mother, but who has two thumbs and didn’t care. THIS GUY!

I remember taking a bit of a pause from the activities and looking into her mother’s face. Her mother was clearly concerned about her. There was definite sadness in her face. Which made me look at Brittany again and realized something—THIS CHICK IS ON DRUGS!

She was all over the place, fidgeting; she was going a mile a minute. Her mother didn’t say much. She just watched from afar. It also didn’t get lost on me that out of all the celebrities, she was the only one who brought her mother. Mom was definitely just trying to look out for her baby.

I will never forget the look of sadness on her mother’s face.

Realistic Goal Planning with Kids

Needless to say, about 6 years later, on December 20, 2009, Brittany passed away. The primary cause was Pneumonia, with secondary factors of iron-deficiency anemia and multiple drug intoxication.

In February, after her death, the coroner released a report stating that she had “elevated levels of Hydrocodone, Acetaminophen, L-Methamphetamine, and Chlorpheniramine.” Her death was ruled an accident.

Her mother disputes that it was a drug overdose to this day. Admittedly, I don’t know if she was actually on drugs.

I will tell you this, I am positive that her mother just wants her baby back. Whatever was going on with Brittany that day, her mother, Sharon, looked worried.

Fame, status, and money don’t mean a hill of beans if my child isn’t happy.

So, when I talk to my oldest about her future, I only focus on money as a standard of living. Success will be defined by her. It most certainly won’t be defined by what I think my friends will be impressed with or my own ideas.

I would advise parents to try to map out their child’s career choice and income potential on that salary. What is the median income? What does that look like in the city the child will live in?

Check out this Salary.com; it gives an idea of potential salaries.

To compare one city to the next check out Best Places.

I think it is good to start having conversations with your kids about the kind of lifestyle they will have with the career field they are contemplating. I also think it is important to keep it real. For instance, my daughter wants to be a chef. I am perfectly fine with my daughter wanting to be a chef. If she continues to want to be a chef, we are going to start having very real conversations as to what the chef lifestyle looks like because an executive chef makes $68,736/year, which is a decent income—no doubt about it. However, that means she can’t live in my house in San Diego. Once her school gives her the diploma, she’s off the books and on her own.

You and your child will have to sit down and figure out how much home she can afford?

How much car she can afford and really help him work through this exercise. Another good conversation is discussing that she won’t start off as an executive chef—no, no. She will be a cook at $35,449/year. It takes almost 20 years to become an executive chef.

Which means, her life will look a lot different than it does under MY roof. That’s when I will give her the sideways look and say—are you sure?

If she is sure and has complete understanding, then I’m okay with it. Like most parents, I just want my children to be as happy as possible; however, I also want them to be able to live the lifestyle they aspire to live.

Something I won’t do is talk her out of becoming a chef because it doesn’t reach some kind of status that I envision; her life is her life. I will be happy if she is happy. My advice is to stop peacocking your kids. Try to separate yourself from their success. If you have raised emotionally intelligent children that have a loving family and loving children of their own, you have won.

Unless, of course, my child becomes President of the United States. Then you will see Father President make his debut.

To simplify your conversation with your child about budgeting, subscribe to my website and get a FREE budget worksheet. Also, check out my e-book The Financial Effect so the kiddos can get a head start on budgeting and start saving for the future.

Photo by Matt Lamers on Unsplash