Happy Dad, Be Glad

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Happy Dad, Be Glad

HAPPY DAD, BE GLAD

Man oh, man. This is the anthem at my house: Happy Dad, Be Glad. I’ll trademark it one day. I hate the saying, Happy Wife, Happy Life. What is that, anyway? Before I got married and even now, people say, Happy Wife, Happy Life. Am I supposed to miserable? Shouldn’t I be happy too? Am I not supposed to have thoughts and feelings of my own? Or am I supposed to sit back and do exactly what my wife tells me to do?

“Can I take a pee break boss?”

“Can I take my kids to school boss? I sure do love ‘dem kids.”

Seriously, I just need people to stop saying that phrase like it’s such profound advice. Happy Wife, Happy Life, please, Happy Dad, Be Glad. If we are to be considered partners in this relationship, I need to be just as happy.

My happiness matters, too, right?

To be honest, there are certain things my wife and I discuss that don’t matter to me. As a matter of fact, I don’t understand why she cares so much about these specific topics. She cares, but I could flip a coin and go either way. On these subjects, I have no opinion and therefore, whatever she is happy with makes me happy as well.

Instead of advising a young, married man, Happy Wife, Happy Life, I sit them down and actually have a conversation about some things:

I am not a marriage counselor, nor am I a perfect husband, so what I am about to tell you might be crap.

I have found it useful to fill the void.

Meaning, figure out what your wife is not good at and become good at that. Or figure out, what she doesn’t care to do, and get it done.

Let’s say, for instance, your wife is bad with money, or she could care less about managing the finances. You could manage the money. Under no circumstance, do you need to convince your wife that she is terrible with money. That is a foolish move. Why, why, why would you want to do that? That’s just going to piss your wife off. Nothing good comes out of convincing your wife that she is bad at anything!

I know for a fact that my wife, in her mind, is great at everything.

Until she makes a decision that I absolutely can’t stand behind, I concur. I also know that if I told my wife that she thinks she is right about everything, she’d correct me and tell me that’s not true; in essence, I’d be wrong, and she’d be right, again. Honestly, I don’t care who’s right and who’s wrong. What I care about is my home life; I want my home life to run smoothly and effectively.

I am the kind of guy that likes to get things done; however, my wife always knows the best way to do whatever I am doing. For instance, she knows the perfect way to load the dishwasher. I personally think that the best way to do it is my way, but I will never get into a fight with my wife about this. At the end of the day, we are working to take care of our home together. I never tell my wife how to drive, cook, clean, fold, or load the dishwasher. You know why? Because if she’s doing it, that means I don’t have to. That makes me happy. If someone else is driving, cooking, cleaning, folding, or loading the dishwasher, you should be happy you’re not doing it.

In the event, you feel the need to tell me how to do something I will calmly say, “I am doing it my way because Happy Dad, Be Glad.”

Do not fight about things that aren’t happening yet.

Why would I want to fight with my wife over some theoretical future thing when I could be making love!

Baby, I don’t care whether or not our daughter goes to Tulane or Loyola. She’s 10! Let’s reflect on how she got here, shall we?

Now, when the acceptance letters from Tulane and Loyola comes—Nah, she going to Tulane. See, now then, we can fight.

Here is the thing; there are so many variables that could play out in this situation. Does my daughter want to go to Tulane? Did she get scholarships? I could go on and on. Since all the components aren’t in place, there is no reason to fight. I tell you what will warrant a fight— spending money unnecessarily. Let’s imagine my daughter gets accepted to Harvard and Stanford. She gets no scholarship to Harvard, but she receives a scholarship to Stanford. Now let’s assume that my wife and daughter decide that, for whatever reason, Harvard it better, maybe smaller class sizes or something. I would listen as a good partner should, but at the end of the day, she is not going to Harvard. Because spending stupid money makes me unhappy, sticking to the budget makes me happy and my happiness matters too. Happy Dad, Be Glad!

Figure out what matters and fight about that.

If you know me, you know that money matters to me. Of course, money isn’t everything, but it does matter the most☺.

The same people who say money isn’t everything stand at a register and drop $3,000 on crap. If you really want me to convince me that money isn’t everything, then I want you to live like it isn’t. You can’t have it both ways.

I am certainly am not telling you to fight with your wife about money, I am just saying that it is OK for you to make a stand sometimes because Happy Dad, Be Glad! This is not permission to make a stand over something stupid. Simply make your family a family on a budget. Communication is key; couples that work together, stay together. If your family wants to spend money on something that is not needed that costs more than 1% of your monthly income, you all need to have a discussion—then you can say Happy Dad, Be Glad. A dad with financial freedom is happy and everyone is glad when dad is happy.

I know this is a touchy subject.

I am talking to the men out there who want to put their family’s needs ahead of their own. While you are putting yourself last, you and your wife may not see eye to eye.

In a lot of instances, you really should just go with the flow. There are not many things that I know I am absolutely right about—this is one. When I disagree with my wife, I tend to try it my wife’s way to see if it works out. Sometimes it works out, and sometimes it doesn’t. Unfortunately, I can never remember how my wife wants me to load the dishwasher; therefore, I can’t go with that flow on that one. At least I get it done to the best of my ability though.

Let’s just say, Happy Parents, Happy Life.

We should all play our roles in relationships. If you are a man, you should definitely take on some other role besides just being a man. Step up and take care of your family, whether that is bringing in the income or taking care of the household duties or both—you deserve a little taste of happiness too.

So yes, I am saying it—HAPPY DAD, BE GLAD! 

Learn more about how to take control of your budget so that you can focus on your family’s prosperity by purchasing my book The Financial Effect. 

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Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash