Need vs. Want

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Need vs. Want

The Conversation

Any time something breaks in my home, the discussion between a need vs a want tends to get confusing.  Recently, my wife and I had a major break down over what seemed like all major appliances. The washing machine broke, the dishwasher stopped doing its job and my microwave……well, the microwave caught on fire. I have to admit that I saw it let off little sparks here and there for a couple of months prior, but it was heating things up just fine.

Who cares about a spark?

I’ll admit it, I just didn’t want to spend any money on a microwave. IT STILL WORKED! The washing machine was the same thing. It worked. It just had a huge crack all around our seal and snagged our clothes from time to time.  That being said, when it didn’t snag, it cleaned fiiiiiiine.  Please see pictures for proof.  As always, when I am forced to purchase new appliances a debate will ensue.

Need vs. Want and High Quality vs. Low Quality.

What appliances are going to last or which ones will break in no time at all?

Me being me, I will buy us all new appliances in no time. I will man shop the hell out of everything. I will walk into Best Buy and run into the first employee.

Me:  I need a new microwave

Attendant:  Right over here sir.

Attendant:  Here are all our microwaves sir. They all come with different features. This one right here has……

Me:  I want that one.

Attendant:  Huh?

Me:  I want that one right there that cost $330.00. I can’t purchase the Insignia one for $300 because I don’t want to appear cheap. Please take that semi cheap one to the register. I am done!

Man Shopping

Man shopping at its finest. I would take that microwave home and begin to receive complaints from my wife. My wife will think that it’s the ugliest microwave she’s ever seen. In fact, the microwave never stood a chance. She’ll find everything and anything wrong with that brand new microwave.

1. Her tea will taste funny out of that microwave
2. Her soup will still be cold in the middle no matter how long she heats it up
3. Everything will cook unevenly in that semi cheap microwave that I bought

Poor microwave, it wouldn’t even get a fair shot in my house. Not if I man shop for it! Without a doubt, this is where my wife and I always land when I take the man-shopping route. We need a microwave but what kind of microwave do you want. This is why the Pay Cash account comes in handy. 

What is a Pay Cash account?

It’s a savings account that you put money in every month to afford big-ticket items that you need or want.  Typically, I just point to this savings account and say that this is all we have for this expense. Judging by the burn marks in the microwave, we need a microwave right now. So you can buy a Viking Range Microwave, but that will mean you have to wait to get the dishwasher and washing machine. We only get into these kinds of discussions when my wife wants to go over the amount that we have in the account or she’s trying to convince me otherwise.

Financial Leaders beware. If you are a husband, those beautiful eyes and beautiful lips can talk you into anything.  If you are a wife, those broad shoulders and that free-flowing hair…….Girl, tell your husband to sit down. You got this.

First, you really need to take a look at your savings account and see what you actually can afford. Then you have to remind yourself what a need is and what a want is.

• Need – Something essential you have to have to survive or complete a task.

• Want – Simply the desire to possess something; in many cases, it’s to satisfy a need.

Technically speaking, you don’t need a dishwasher, washing machine, or a microwave.  However, unless you want to take over the responsibility of washing your clothes on washboards, I am going to need you to put all three of these items in the need section.

You have to assess your entire situation.

Do you have $5,000 in Emergency Savings? Do you have any other credit card debts?  Are there any future activities that may come up that you need to prepare for, like Christmas?  Will you need a car soon that will hinder your ability to build your savings back up? Are there any financial goals that you have out there that will be pushed back by this decision?

Just because you have $1500 in the pay cash account doesn’t mean you should spend it all.  Whatever you do, do not put it on the credit card and say you are going to pay it back later. That is how it all begins. You should either wait to get something you really want or get something that fits within your budget. In my house, I am not going to care what we get as long as it gets the job done, or mostly gets the job done. My wife is going to want something specific.

I just want her to be satisfied within a certain price range so that we can handle all the other needs that will pop-up.

The other argument is that we need quality.

Something that will last! You’re right, we don’t want to have to deal with this every few years. It’s a pain in the butt.  Let me ask you a question. Is this our forever home?  If it’s not our forever home, then I don’t need it to last.  If I plan on buying a home in 2 to 3 years, I only need some of the appliances to make it 3 years and 1 month. I have moved a couple of times, and not once have I taken a dishwasher or a microwave with me. The washing machine and dryer, yes sir that comes with me. Using this thought process, it seems to me that the only quality you need is the washing machine and keep it within the $1500 savings available in the pay cash account. Based on this equation, I would spend a little bit more on a more expensive washing machine and go cheaper on the dishwasher and microwave, but here is the thing.

This isn’t a fight.

When you are having a discussion with your spouse about this, you may not understand their decision making and guess what, they don’t understand yours. The compromise really isn’t High Quality vs Low Quality.  It isn’t about whether you need or just want something.

The compromise is really what you can afford. The only way you can be clear about how much you can afford is to have a savings account dedicated to situations like this.

Without this method of thinking, here lies the problem.

If you do not clearly define what someone is able to spend, then you are always saying that you can’t afford something and that’s annoying. If you can truly articulate the family’s goals and budget, everything else will fall into place. You are only having the needs vs want conversation to help your spouse with the decision making and you can take your emotion right out of it. If my wife decides that she prefers a more expensive dishwasher over a washing machine, then so be it. I will just have to figure out how to take that dishwasher with me.

Photo by Tina Bosse on Unsplash