Art of Being a Novice

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I can’t figure it out. People are so worried that people are going to think that they are stupid if they claim to be a novice that they are scared to ask questions.

What value do you get out of people thinking you are brilliant at everything? While I expect my doctor who is a cardiologist to know a thing or two about hearts, I don’t expect my cardiologist to be an expert at anything else. He should be a novice in some areas of his life.

I love telling people that I am just a dumb country boy from Arkansas.

‘This here big city is overwhelming’  (read that in an Arkansas accent).  I will say that there is true power in feeling free to ask the question.  There is true power in knowing that you don’t know something.  There is true power in knowing that you need to hire someone to build upon your weaknesses.

Why should we try to be everything to everybody?

I am not going to pretend that I know the first thing about marriage, other than what I have already experienced. I may still be a novice at this marriage thing. That doesn’t mean I don’t need to check in with myself every once in a while and ask myself whether or not I am I treating my spouse right?  Am I staying on top of what I promised to her?

Recently, my wife read the book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck.  I had read this book over a year ago and loved it.  Her book club had finally gotten around to reading it and one day she comes into the house and says, “we need to talk”.  Fuck me!  Of course, that was mind talk.  My lips actually said, yeah babe what’s up?

She said, “this is what I am talking about.  I never seem to get the truth from you.  When I ask you whether or not I look good in a dress, I want you to tell me.  Instead, all you do is tell me I look good.”

Now, in my defense, I think my wife is gorgeous and when we enter any event, she is easily top 5.  I say this to my wife all the time and it never dawned on her that I’m ranking other women’s looks above hers and yet, she says I am not truthful.  She says to me, this is why she thinks I am a bullshitter.

I am offended.

I pride myself on telling people the truth other than the times I am totally joking and embellishing on a situation which I assume everyone knows that I am joking.  Now, other women have told me that their husbands don’t compliment them enough.  My wife gets plenty of compliments from me and apparently, I don’t critique her enough.  Sure Lovely, I will tell you when your ass looks fat in those jeans.  Is that what you want?  Do you wish for me to bark like a dog?  A big dog (Coming to America quote)

In the Rebel Talent by Francesca Gino, she explains that when we approach things as a novice or “Counterfactual thinking” we can feel more grateful for the jobs we have and happier in our relationships. Why can’t we apply this to all aspects of our lives?

Every day I wake up and get to know my wife and children all over again.  Because like me, they are forever changing.  The people I work with are changing.  The rules in my industry are changing.  The only thing I can tell you is that every morning I wake I need to constantly ask questions so that I can understand the world around me better.

To be successful in this life, you don’t have to have a certain type of career or make a certain amount of money.

You need to know your Zone.

You need to know your area of expertise.  Right now as we speak, there is a light out in my front yard.  I am not about to take time out of my day to go out there to figure out why it isn’t coming on.  You know why?  Because it will take me too much time.  I don’t know what I am looking at and I don’t have a process for that. I’m a complete novice when it comes to fixing things of this nature. I am not even sure what to type into YouTube to figure it out.

It may take someone seasoned in something like this 10 minutes to figure out, where it would take me hours.  And for what?  To learn something that I am probably going to forget again anyways? Nah playa, I can’t do that.  Even in my own profession, there are areas that I will task out to others. (Read the article written about me and how I run my practice)

Spend time learning the right things

Plus, there are plenty of things in my life that I can learn to do that will help me in my life or in my career. I’d be better off spending time learning more about different investments, reading some parenting books or articles or learning how to meditate. I could find a hobby that relaxes me or something my wife and I could do together that would enable us more quality time to get to know each other even better.

Please stop wasting your time learning about things that don’t impact your life in a meaningful way.

Let me help you with a decision matrix that can help you figure out if you should do something or not. It’s called your billable hours.

Yes, your billable hours. Anytime you decide to do someone else’s job, you have your billable hours.  Meaning, if you decide that you are going to fix your own bathtub, you have to decide whether or not it is actually going to save you money.  You also have to decide whether or not it is something you really want to do vs. doing anything else.

Let’s start with the money.

How much money per hour do you make?  Let’s assume you make $50/hour.  How long do you think it will take you to fix the tub?  Out here in California, it will probably cost me $150 bucks just to get someone out to the house, and then you have to pay for parts.  Don’t just count the actual work, you have to count the research it takes to figure out what is wrong.  Then the research on what parts you are going to get and the time it takes you to go to Home Depot and find the parts you need.

Finally, count all the times it took you to watch that YouTube video over and over again.

Did you really save money?

Making decision like this you really aren’t going to get any sympathy from me because if you read my e-book and followed my instructions, you would have enough money in your emergency savings account to pay the plumber to fix your tub so that you can spend that time with your wife and children.

Instead of spending time watching YouTube videos on how to fix your tub, you could watch YouTube Videos on how to cook your family a better dinner to learn something new that will benefit your family.

Pick your poison

Similar to my message in my blog One Vice – pick one. You have to weigh all the options.  You have to look at the long term goal.  When figuring out the art of being a Novice, pick something that will help you to be a masterpiece!