High Expectations

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Growing up I have to say that expectations did cross my mind.  There was a lot expected of me, but I didn’t really set too many expectations on myself.  My parents expected me to make good grades, and my father was scary when he was mad, so therefore I made good grades.  I only really recall caring about basketball and a little later, girls, when they entered the equation.

I wouldn’t say that I had high expectations then.  Hell, I didn’t know what I was doing.  In basketball, the coach told me what to do, and then I did it.  I would make sure I would practice shooting and that was it.  Girls, women, I am learning more and more each day but that seems like a moving target.  As one of my friends told me who has all girls, I do a lot of listening.

It wasn’t until I got into my career that I learned about high expectations. 

When I got into an actual career, I learned the importance of high expectation.  Not necessarily other expectations for you, but the expectations you set for yourself.  It is easy to look at your spouse and children and tell them what they should be doing, but if you are not holding yourself to a higher standard, it seems disingenuous.

Not to piss anyone off, but who wants an overweight fitness trainer?  Can you imagine showing up at the gym while someone sits in a lazy boy eating potato chips yelling at you ‘run faster you lazy bum!’

It is really hard to convince people that your way is the right way.  When my wife and I are having a discussion often times, I will say to myself, “Do not try to convince her of your thoughts.”  I have found that it makes for an ugly argument and then nobody is happy and that is not the end goal.  I am not saying you shouldn’t have expectations on your spouse and children. What I am saying is that you should try to hold yourself to a higher standard first.

Whatever standard you hold yourself to is what you will achieve.  Whatever your family sees you doing, they will start to follow you.  And the reason why they will begin to follow you is that they will start to see the positive results of your actions.

This is why goal setting is so important.  

When you are setting a goal, you are setting a mark for which you want to achieve.  You should be setting a goal that stretches your mental and physical capabilities, and at the same time, you must expect to achieve it.  If you don’t have high expectations of yourself, then others will not have them either.  And by others, I mean your family.

You have to actually define what that means mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.  That way you know what you need to do to stay on track.  If you don’t think your children are watching, think again.  The other morning while I was running, Mckenna happened to get up early because she was super excited to go back to school after winter break.  While on my run, she called me and I picked up.  She said, “wow, you really are running”  and I laughed.

What did she think I was doing every morning?  Most importantly, for her, it was confirmation that I am living what I am preaching. I talk more about this in the blog Money Habits from Parents. I always say to her, if you take care of your body, it will take care of your mind.  I make her do physical activities at least three times a week even when she doesn’t want to do it.  On those days she isn’t in the mood to do any physical activity, but I’m pushing her to, how could I honestly push her if I wasn’t pushing myself?  I can hear her now saying, maybe you should take your own advice.  To Quote Ralph Waldo, “what you do speaks so loud, I can not hear what you said.”

In reference to your money, you have to hold yourself to a higher standard. 

I personally, will not spend on big-ticket items.  Compared to my kids and wife, I live a lower standard of living then they do.  It gives me the ability to say something or speak up when I think we are spending too much money.  I do my best to stay within my spending limits so that my family has a hard time looking at me to point to a situation where I have done otherwise.  I am not a perfect person and I have certainly had to apologize to my kids and my wife for being wrong.  But I am pretty sure they see the effort that I am giving them.

Stephen Guise explains it well in the blog How High Expectations Enable Success:

High expectations aren’t about denying reality by expecting success instantly. High expectations enable you to maximize your potential and do something significant.

*Investing involves risk. Depending on the types of investments, there may be varying degrees of risk. Investors should be prepared to bear loss, including total loss of principal.