One of the hardest periods of my life was around 6 months after my first daughter was born. I was trying to figure it all out. My finances, my business, my relationships and being a new dad. None of them were going right for me, at all.
I was so unhappy with my life that I was restless.
I wasn’t making enough money in my business to keep my business going. My business expenses kept getting higher and higher and I didn’t know what to do. Since I wasn’t making enough income to cover my business expenses, I wasn’t making enough money to take care of my family.
I was still new to the business, so I had a hard time communicating to my wife about the struggles I was experiencing. In turn, my wife had a hard time understanding the struggle because she didn’t fully understand how I got paid and what my expenses were. She tried to tell me to let go and let God which only made things worse for me mentally since I was still trying to figure it all out. Add in the mix this brand-new little girl who I so badly wanted to be a great dad for while I felt like I was failing miserably at everything.
I loved what I did for a living and I didn’t want to lose it. I didn’t want to be driven out of business. I didn’t want to stress about money, but in trying to provide for my wife and my daughter I knew I wasn’t cutting it.
So, I did what any man would do…I started walking every morning. I walked at 5 am every single day. I didn’t power walk. Screw that, I still hate power walking. I was strolling through the neighborhood talking to myself. It was usually dark outside so no one could see me talking to myself like a crazy person.
Suddenly, something magical started happening on these walks.
I started thinking things through. These walks were spectacular. I had huge fights with my wife in my mind on these walks. On these walks, I would let loose and give her a piece of my mind. Then, I would walk through the door and say, “Hey baby, I am going to miss you at work.”
Someone would tee me off at work. Going on these walks would allow me to get my anger out and work through the issue. I would cuss them out and strategize exactly what I would say to this individual when I saw them. Then I would ask myself if it would be productive in any way to actually say these things out loud to this person and make the smart decision to keep my mouth shut.
I would think about how I was going to improve my business.
I would think through my day and figure out what was important and what wasn’t. More importantly, I figured out what was going to make me happy. I made some of the biggest decisions of my life on these walks. Walking in the morning also got me used to getting up early and moving. It led me to start running.
I must have walked for almost 10 years until something happened…my internal struggles in my mind were silenced.
I remember waking up one morning and going for my walk and there was no one to fight with. My business was running the way that it should be. I was clear about all of my goals and the next steps of my life. (I read somewhere that some of the greatest thinkers walked). I no longer was that crazy person walking and talking to himself. I was finally the content guy looking for the next goal to accomplish.
That leads me to today – my finances are on point, I’ve created a list of goals, and am challenging myself to be a better dad, husband, and man. I’m happier and more content and better able to communicate with my co-workers, my clients, and most importantly my family.
I figured out that getting up early has its benefits, that talking to myself could be a pretty damn good conversation and that you have to walk before you can run.
