Why I’m Not “Giving Anything Up” for Lent

Growing up, church was not a big part of my life.  My Sundays were filled with working in the yard, raking leaves, or cleaning the house.  I spent a lot of time playing basketball with my friends and doing things with my family.

Going to church was something you did when you accidentally spent the night with a friend who went to church the next morning.  Dude!  I am never spending the night with you again.  I didn’t really find religion until I was in my teenage years. That’s when I really started to explore God and what he meant to me.

Through the years, I have grown spiritually and found myself in a community surrounded by Catholics.  This is partly due to the fact that my wife went to Catholic schools all of her life and wanted to share those same values with our daughters.  Me of course, I didn’t knowingly meet a Catholic until college.  To say that I am a bit ignorant when it comes to all the Catholic practices would be an understatement.  However, every year, I am asked the same question.

What are you giving up for lent? 

I could lie to you and say I am giving up chocolates. I could try to blend in with the rest of the community, but that’s not me.  I am the guy who will look you dead in the eyes and tell you I’m not giving up a damn thing.

The whole idea just bugged the heck out of me.  Why would I give up anything?  God put me on this earth so that I can take part in the pleasures that the earth had to give me.  Jesus liked wine.  I like wine too.  I feel connected to Jesus when I drink my wine.  It’s spiritual for me.

Besides, I hated the idea of sacrifice or the helplessness that came with giving something up.  I felt like a big man child giving up on something that I really wanted.

I guess I will give up chocolate.  Does that make you happy? 

In the past when I did decide to participate in Lent and contemplate what I should give up, I figured it should be something that I like……but not a lot.  Hmm…I will give up skittles.  I never really wanted to taste the rainbow anyway.  Stupid rainbows.

But now that I am older and wiser, I would like to propose a reframing of Lent.  Instead of giving something up, how about we choose not to do something?  Studies have shown that making choices actually make us happy.  The fact that I have a choice in the matter, makes me happier.  Not too many choices now……that’s too overwhelming.  Just a couple of choices is all you need to reach that peak of happiness.  Steak or lobster, or in my situation black beans or coconut rice?

But in all seriousness, choices make us happy. 

Reminding ourselves that we have a choice makes us happy.  This year, I am participating in Lent because I am choosing to make my life better by choosing to not do certain things.  I am practicing self-discipline.  I am proving to myself, that I can choose at any time to stop drinking alcohol.  I can choose to spend more time with my family.  I can choose to be more present with my friends, or I can choose to improve whatever aspect of my life I want.

This life is mine to have. Your life is yours to grab. 

For Lent this year, I say choose to live without something that will impact your life in a meaningful way.  I would choose something that is paired with a goal to better your finances, improve your health, increase the love with your family, or help you mentally prepare for the rest of the year.

I think all these years I have been missing the point.  The point is that we have control over our lives.  We have control over our thoughts.  We have control over our beliefs.  You don’t have to stay within a family budget, but you choose to do so because it empowers you and your family.  You don’t have to give up meat.  You choose to give up meat because it is better for your health and the environment. So, for Lent this year, make a choice that empowers you to be happier.